Guinness Book of World Records

Miniature Golf, Most Holes in 24 Hours, Fourball

Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.
Gore Vidal

As is usual, the Gazette is on top of all
the recent rumors circulating around
the forest in the past few weeks. Our
own Rosie racoon has all of the juicy
blether for you here today.

Tillie turtle has given birth to 79                                      
baby turtles. They are all well, and are
at home with their ecstatic mother.
Tillie has named the first three (all
boys), Teddy, Toddy and Tyler. She
will have a busy week ahead naming
the rest. Unfortunately, Tubby will not
be around. Tuba has thrown him out
of the house! It was reported that
Tubby had been seen flirting with one
Tessie turtle in Pecos Pond! It is not
known whether Tubby is now residing
with the tempestuous Tessie.
-Grandma Teresa turtle is suffering
from soft-shell sickness. She has been
staying at the local hospital to eradicate
the problem.
-Sally the squirrel’s terrible son,
Stubby, has been sent to a private
school to improve his manners. Last
week, Sally discovered hundreds of
stolen acorns from the neighbor's
nests. Under intense pressure, Stubby
admitted to the crime.
-There is bad news from Molly.
One of her children fell prey to a visiting
hawk. He was relaxing outside the
hole, and never saw the bird. Let this
be a lesson to all young mice.

-Roberta rabbit has recovered nicely
from her sore tail. She has been seen in
the South meadow eating fresh grass
sprouts. Randy is very happy as he dislikes
cleaning the family's hole.
-In an unbelievable development,
Fergie the frog has decided to settle
down with his new girlfriend, Freida.
We don't know how Freida captured
that old scamp's heart. Apparently,
they will live at her parent's pond until
they can find suitable housing.
-Harley rattlesnake will be hosting
a birthday party for his lovely wife,
Rosie, on March 31st at their home.
Everyone is invited. For you fashion
nuts, Rosie will be wearing a new
Versace dress!
-We are indeed sad to report that
Biddy bobcat will retire from the music
business. She wants to spend more
time with her 23 grandchildren.
Our next idle talk column will appear
in a late April edition. Until then, have a
great day, and stay tuned!

odd as two left shoes
strange
Tricia is as odd as two left shoes when it comes to her clothes.

to cut in
to interrupt rudely
My mother always cut in when she doesn’t appreciate the topic of my conversation.

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled."
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?"
"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Larry. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."
"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.
The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."

A SHORT TURKISH LOVE STORY

He was just 18, but unfortunately, he had leukemia. When he had learnt his fatal illness, he decided to sit in his room all of the day. He was living with his mother. She always told him to go out and meet people. But he didn’t agree until a different day.
One day, he went out and was walking around the street. Suddenly he saw a girl who was a cashier, so he went into the shop.
When he went into the shop, his tongue locked up. He just showed her a music CD and bought it from her. He couldn’t say anything. After that, he started to turn his home into a house of CDs, because he was going to the shop everyday. But he was such a shy boy that he couldn’t talk to her.
One day, he was serious about talking with her. In the morning he got up and took a shower. It was his last shower. He couldn’t beat his illness and was caught by the Archangel.
After the funeral ceremony, his mother went into his room to check his packages. She found lots of CDs. One of them had a card. Something was written on the card: “Hello! I think I am taken to you. Would you want to meet me this weekend?”